


Wtf the fuck

by Merrion



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Group chat, Multi, Texting, you can glean anything from this honestly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8694409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merrion/pseuds/Merrion
Summary: Makkkii: how dare you ruin our hyper realistic housewife mutual roasting with furriesIwa-chan-san: whyNyattsun: MmmmMm yes roast me donnaNyattsun: It's my kinkMakkkii: disGUSTINGIwa-Chan-San: bye





	1. Pamela Vs Donna

Makkkii: i feel so blind rn like holy shit

Makkkii: im squinting at everything this is how i die

Nyattsun: It's because you're on that phone all the time

Makkkii: fight me pam

Nyattsun: *breaks your cheap Tupperware * let's go Donna

Makkkii: you and ypur store bought brownies are no match for me and my seven oven

Nyattsun: At least I feed my kids organic vegetables for snacks when you feed them those "rice crispys"

Makkkii: leave my children out of this we all know the real issue here is how close your babysitter and husband are getting recently, huh pam?

Nyattsun: I sold oregano to your kids once and told them it was pot. They are NOT going to heaven.

Makkkii: what are you doing selling fake drugs to my children anyways? wheres the holiness in that pma

Nyattsun: Jesus told me in a dream that your children needed to be tested. They were and they FAILED. Kinda like your oldest sons report card

Makkkii: so we're just ginna ignore your daughter's consistent outrageously bad grades in favor of my boy's single semester?

Nyattsun: She went to bible camp once Donna.

Makkkii: my son is a bible camp COUNSELOR. At least we say our prayers before eating unlike your family, as I saw at the block barbecue last month

Nyattsun: I'm tired of your shit *drives away in 2002 silver Toyota minivan*

Nyattsun: I have my son's soccer game to catch

Makkkii: You're not getting away that easily are you forgetting my daughter is that team's cheerleader *follows you in slighty different shade of silver 2002 toyota minivan*

Nyattsun: I saw your boy KISS another boy once Donna! Your WHOLE family is going to hell

Nyattsun: Also i saw your oldest daughter kiss her boyfriend the other day!! Out of wedlock!! Hell!! All of you!

Makkkii: That's rude coming from you! remember that time in college when you made out with tracy silverton! You're the one going to hel!!

Nyattsun: That's it, you're not coming to our neighborhood barbeque! You're off the neighbourhood committee too!

Makkkii: You have to vote me off! Good luck convincing Martha to boot me! I once made her a whole potluck!

Nyattsun: We all know that you called the catering company. Cathrine from accounting's sister works there and she told me!

Makkkii: That still leaves Janet and my sister-in-law Barbara! They both have my back!

Nyattsun: Both their husbands tried to sleep with me! They'll take my side

Makkkii: You're going to hell for seducing them! They were good men! Even if they do vote me off, I'll still come to meetings!

Nyattsun: They came on to me! They called me a "milf"! They said they learned that from your sons "twitter"

Makkki: Oh, and the fact that my husband learned the term "dilf" from you daughter directly isn't a problem at all??

Nyattsun: Darn it's light friday?

_Iwa-Chan-San has entered meme fuccs_

Iwa-Chan-San: guys wtf its 1 am 

Makkkii: What??

Nyattsun: Dilf

Nyattsun: My daughter is wholy

Iwa-Chan-San: *holy

Nyattsun: Don't patronize me Karen!!

Makkkii: Just accept your ascent to hell already Pamela!

Nyattsun: That just means I'll be seeing more of you!

Iwa-Chan-San: why are you two like this

Makkki: I'll be in heaven while you rot!

Nyattsun: *jumps out of minivan in full fur suit*

Makkkii: how dare you ruin our hyper realistic housewife mutual roasting with furries

Iwa-chan-san: why

Nyattsun: MmmmMm yes roast me donna

Nyattsun: It's my kink

Makkkii: disGUSTING

Iwa-Chan-San: bye

_Iwa-Chan-San has left meme fuccs_

Nyattsun: The whole neighborhood is furries

Nyattsun: I'm going to hell anyways

Makkkii: We all are eventually

Nyattsun: What if,

Nyattsun: Now just listen

Makkkii: am i going to regret this

Nyattsun: What if,, this is already hell and we're all here bc suburban white soccer moms are devils

Makkkii: interesting theory

Makkkii: but

Nyattsun: But,,,,

Makkkii: how can this be hell if we have

Makkkii: dogs

Nyattsun: Ahhh

Nyattsun: But,,,, 

Nyattsun: Remember the huge multiple headed dog that guards the gates to the underworld in Greek mythology

Nyattsun: And Anubis is the Egyptian God of death. He was often depicted as a dog or half man half dog

_Iwa-Chan-San has entered meme fuccs_

Iwa-Chan-San: those dogs were only following damned orders

Makkkii: i thought u left 

Iwa-Chan-San: the dogs did nothing wrong

_Iwa-Chan-San has left meme fuccs_

Makkkii: get rekted @ mattsun

Makkkii: New theory

Makkkii: we are simply in purgatory and the way we live our lives judges whether or not we go to heaven or hell

Nyattsun: Well,,, hell it is for me

Makkkii: the gays go to neither heaven or hell, only to eternal gay party town to party forever

Nyattsun: ETERNAL PARTY

Makkkii: gotta go to bed so i don't die tomorrow

Nyattsun: me too dudo gn

Makkkii: nite


	2. 7 Naruto Body Pillows and 1 Sasuke

Makkkii: Look @ this 

Makkkii:[Sent a link] 'The Signs in 2017'

Makkkii: when you get rich this year buy me a naruto body pillow

AlienBaelien: I'll buy you 7

AlienBaelien: And one sasuke

Makkkii: i didn't know you cared so much about me

Makkkii: truly, me and my eight naruto body pillows are touched

Nyattsun: rip @ iwa and makki ur gonna suffer this year

Iwa-Chan-San: the only thing that makes me suffer is the fact i had to see the word alienbaelien wtf oikawa

Iwa-Chan-San: change it back

AlienBaelien: Why are you so mean

AlienBaelien: All have you know this name was gifted to me by Makki

Makkkii: Im sorry i just wanted to see if he'd do it

Iwa-Chan-San: why are the both of you like this

Nyattsun: good one makki

Iwa-Chan-San: also why are you texting makki you two are literally sitting next to each other I can see you

Nyattsun: ur not my real step dad

Makkkii: boogie woogie woogie

Iwa-Chan-San: dont fucking reference memes at me I can see you laughing

Iwa-Chan-San: dont wiggle your eyebrows at me matsukawa 

AlienBaelien: Wow Iwa-chan you're awfully salty today

Iwa-Chan-San: i will murder you

Iwa-Chan-San: do you think i will hesitate

Nyattsun: @iwa do you want to meeteth me in the pit bra

Iwa-Chan-San: sorry but oikawa has been bothering me all day do you even know how many xfiles memes i have seen today

AlienBaelien: I was bored!!! Do you think that I can stay home sick and _not_ send you memes

Makkkii: i want you to send me every single meme you sent iwa or we're not friends anymore

AlienBaelien: [Loading image 1 out of 68]

Nyattsun: ho ly shi t

Makkkii: i am ALIVE

Iwa-Chan-San: do you understand now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip srry its been 700000 years i was busying sleeping and not writing

**Author's Note:**

> hi naughty children welcome to the sin bin


End file.
